Marcia Brady of the Upper East Side

Yes. That is a quote from Cruel Intentions. Yes, it's okay if you wanna watch the movie now.

Do you ever feel like you're playing a part? Like you're being the person that you know other people want you to be? Sometimes it's not like you're not being yourself, you're just not being totally open about your personal feelings for someone else's benefit.

I did that most of my life. And now, as it seems, history is repeating itself.

I dunno what it is, but I fall into this idea that life is like a TV show and I need to be playing this awesome character. Whether or not that character is the main star, best friend, love interest, etc is all based upon the situation and the people I am around. But let's be real here people-

I'm the star of the show.

Welcome to Actually, It's Brad- Tuesdays at 9:30 E following New Girl on FOX!

Yep. Just gave myself a time slot. You can see how this is a sickness I have.

And when I fall into this TV show pattern, I tend to start playing my character. Whether I am the supportive best friend or whiney love interest- I play it to perfection. And what's worst- it's not like I'm lying! I really do feel incredibly supportive of my best friends and HELLO! Whining about love is what I do best. Seriously, it's practically a special skill on my resume.

Now on occasion, I pick up a new role. It's one that doesn't get played very often as I am usually in control of my emotions. But... y'know... when the time is right...

I can play the jealous bitch.

Usually this is late at night when I am alone with my thoughts and I start arguing with myself and getting worked up and upset over stuff that I let build up and then I make a stupid Tumblr post about being upset and OH-TO-THE-NO! I've been a bitch. I'll usually transform back into a whiney love interest in minutes about the post goes live but I'll leave it up out of cathartic bliss... and feel incredibly guilty about it the next day.

All day.

ALL. DAY.

Should I take it down? Can I take it down? It's too late, one of our mutual friends is sure to have seen it by now and THEN WHAT!?! Will he tell him? Will they both conspire against me behind my back? Are they secret lovers that are using me like a stupid game or a bet or-WAIT. When did my show become One Tree Hill?!?!?

Breathe, Bradley. Breathe. It's your show, you control the script. And the soundtrack, because let's face it- you're amazing. Yes, these are the pep talks I give myself.

One Tree Hill this is not. It's more like... Uh.. well, I have nothing. I would prefer Sabrina The Teenage Witch, but you try finding a talking animal sidekick these days.

All in all, don't be a character. Feel free to get cathartic and feel your emotions because God knows we all have them- but be yourself. And when your brain is replaced temporarily by that of Joan Collins with a blog... do your best to delete before you're seen! Remember- cyber bullying is still bullying. And bullying is douchey. Do you wanna be douchey? I didn't think so.

See you next week with SPECIAL GUEST STAR RICKY MARTIN!!!!

Eh, I'm kidding. But can you imagine?!